Monday, December 20, 2010

I have been in a deeper contemplative mood the last week or two, amongst the chaos of INSANE hours for work before the holidays.

And one thing we've been talking about a lot around the team I work with is that 2011 really feels like its going to be a phenomenal and powerful year. My way of thinking about it, I feel like I stumbled into 2010 and hit the road running without pause to vision and be intent-full. I feel like I am heading into 2011 focused, energize, excited and ready to create a new paradigm for myself and life around me.

How do you feel heading into the new year?

In addition, tonight is the Solstice; the longest night of the year. Today is the day to honor the darkness, honor the inward journey knowing that this is the way through. Now, the light will slowly increase and its time to vision forward to what light will manifest in our lives. I feel like this year's solstice has extra potency with there being a Lunar Eclipse tonight. The moon's wisdom is that of the cycles, of women's mysteries, of the phases of life from ebb to flow to ebb again. It leads me, this night, to consider how my own patterns and phases my be blinding me from my own self, my own spirit. It leads me to meditate on how, in the darkness of my soul or spirit, my shadow self makes it seem as if the light can't possibly be there. And then, from there, I know it is all a reflection of the same spirit. The light was never gone. It's all an illusion!

So, rather than contemplate what "New Year's Resolution" might be the one for this year. I inquire of you....let's share....what reflections you might have in this season. What vision do you want to create for 2011. How do you want to move through the illusion of your shadows, of the darkness, into greater and brighter light?

I know for myself...the light I am seeking is that of Balance. How can I balance heart and mind. How can I balance taking care of myself and having clear boundaries about my needs and desires while still upholding my commitments and fulfilling my sense of responsibility. I am also feeling an ending to many phases of my life, unsure what exactly will fill the new spaces created by letting go. Although I feel deep inner reflection and quietness at this time, I feel exhuberant about new ideas, new possibilities, etc. I can't wait to move my body, to commit to dancing regularly again. I can't wait to balance work and personal and even within my work, to find equilibrium between my brain, my heart and my spirit. I'm looking forward and visioning letting my priestess, my shaman, my healer, my teacher out again to connect and carry forth in my leadership. I am visioning peace, ease, grace, and joy.

Blessed Solstice, my friends,
Missy

Friday, August 20, 2010

Landing

So, wow, its been crazy lately.

Stress levels have been insanely high. I've had every single one of my personal little "gremlins" in my head telling me I'm not good enough, etc, screaming at me and yet, through all that, there has been sweetness, fun and connection.

I am just now landing from this year's Phoenix Fire (the big fire circle event I help organize every year). This year was a tough one. Big issues that challenge the moral compass amongst the community and I, trying to hold it all within the container of love and compassion. It's hard to listen to everyone, empathize with all perspectives and then have to make decisions that are guaranteed to upset some person or 5. oy vey!

On the other hand, the circles were magical, the staff stepped up to the plate and made things run smoothly. We said goodbye, after 10 years, to the special magical land we've called home each summer for Fire Circles. It was emotional, it was hard and I look forward to the future with enthusiasm and hopes of something different, new, fresh and magical in its own way.

I came home to getting sick. I wore my body completely out. I came home to "real life" and work. I love my job AND I've totally sucked at it lately. Not sure what to do about it and getting my act together. Self discipline is not a strong point for me. I'm searching my soul and my life for the tools and access to what can move me forward and through this wall I see before me. I know, I must reconnect to spirit and inspiration. I've lost that along the way.

It is time to seek the guidance of the Grandmothers. It is time to deepen into my connection with spirit and allow that to inspire and guide me. It is time, really, to start doing something different from what I have been doing. I'm tired, worn out and feel like I put a great deal of effort out into the world with minimal result. I feel like I am working backwards instead of forwards and that is INCREDIBLY frustrating. I feel like its all just not good enough...for me or for those around me.

Looking towards this fall, it will be time to gather the harvest. Gather my resources and prepare for the internal work of the winter. In that, I hope, I find support. Maybe even some answers.

The warmth of the fire glows inside of me. It may feel like the slightest bit of embers right now, but it is still there. It's time to heat it up, fire it up, tend the fire and make space for it to grow, to burn, to light me up from the inside out. I feel that fire, that last night and the heat of the early morning deep in my heart. Now, it's time to let it shine out.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Ready

"I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me?
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of hte joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

lately I've been thinking, maybe you're not ready for me
maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for, 'cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow, I'll same the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance, I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music, a man who loves art
Respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice, my eyes, my soul, my mind
Tell me what is enough to prove I am ready for love
I am ready."

Lyrics from "Ready for Love" by India Arie

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Phoenix Fire 2009 Golden Moments

On August 14th, 140 of us gathered in the magical redwoods to dance, sing, play and drum around the fire all night for 3 nights in a row! This gathering was exactly that, a gathering, a coming together of people from all different backgrounds to create a 'village' and place that supports one another in working together to co-exist, problem solve, create, heal, transform and connect. The following is a quick video I made talking about some of my 'golden moments' from the past week. There are many more special experiences than can be shared in one video, but this certainly highlights a few. Enjoy!





Yes, my hair looks different! My sweet friends Tabitha and Padme helped me put yarn braids in my hair. I LOVE them!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

An Inspiring Story of Friendship

A friend of mine just sent me the link to this video. Truly, if they can be friends, why can't the rest of us?



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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year Musings

I am going through my journals from 2004 mapping my Europe trip for a little project and out fell this card that I picked up in Tours, France. It seems appropriate to remember these things at the New Year. (it was in french and following is an english translation) There is something poetic about the french.

La vie...
La vie est une chance, saisis-la.
La vie est beaute, admire-la.
La vie est beatitude, savoure-la.
La vie est un reve, fais-en une realite.
La vie est un defi, fais-lui face.
La vie est un devoir, accomplis-le.
La vie est un jeu, joue-le.
La vie est precieuse, prends-en soin.
La vie est une richesse, conserve-la.
La vie est amour, jouis-en.
La vie est un mystere, perce-le.
La vie est promesse, remplis-la.
La vie est tristesse, surmonte-la.
La vie est un hymne, chante-le.
La vie est une aventure, ose-la.
La vie est un combat, accepte-le.
La vie est un bonheur, merite-le.
La vie est la vie, defends-la.
~Mere Teresa

Life....
Life is an opportunity, grab it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is blissful, savor it.
Life is a dream, make it a reality.
Life is a challenge, meet it head-on.
Life is an obligation, fulfill it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is precious, take care of it.
Life is rich, treasure it.
Life is love, enjoy it.
Life is a mystery, solve it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sadness, overcome it.
Life is a hymn, sing it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is happiness, deserve it.
Life is life, Live it.
~Mother Theresa

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Friday, November 14, 2008

Create Long Lasting Change, Instantly

Read below to find out how to get YOUR FULL SCHOLARSHIP (a $150 value) to the Instant Change for Long Term Success Event! I am so excited to share this with all of you!

Join myself, Missy Wilreker and my colleague Clifford Meurer for this One-time Event on Saturday, November 22nd, 2008, in downtown Santa Cruz.

“Instant Change for Long Term Success: How to make simple changes to create more success at work, at home and look forward to waking up each day!”

Do you feel trapped in your life? Perhaps in your relationship or with a job you don’t like. Do you feel like you go through each day and it just doesn’t feel like ‘you’? We’re here to tell you: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Often, when things in our lives are familiar, they become comfortable and easy, even when they may actually be unsatisfying. It sure seems easier to deal with what is comfortable than make a scary change into the unknown. But….

Is that fulfilling? NO! Is that helping you to achieve your dreams? Probably Not! Are you happy? Most likely not 100%!

Many of us have that day where we look around at our life and ask “How the heck did I get here?” It’s shocking, but true. You look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself. What happened to those things you were passionate about? The career you dreamed of as a kid, or relationships with people that are fulfilling and exciting. Have you been stuffing all of who you are away to fit in or get along? Once you realize this, the inner battle becomes living in what’s comfortable versus living authentically in the world.

Should you have to choose? We don’t think so!

Are you ready to make the changes you want? It’s Easy! Who would have thought that manifesting the changes of your dreams could be so simple?!

“We’ll teach you how to live passionately and freely using simple step-by-step tools so you can build solid relationships and manifest your dreams more than you ever thought possible!”

You’ll also learn:

- 6 Steps to make lasting change.

- 3 breaths for instant change

- The secret to manifesting positive feedback with every interaction

You’ll walk away from this event with the simple formula for living fearlessly and make the lasting changes you want quickly, easily and confidently!

So, are you ready to break through your fears and live successfully?!

If your answer is “yes” join us on Nov. 22nd at 1pm for this ONE TIME EVENT in downtown Santa Cruz.

RSVP to mlwld@yahoo.com to register and claim your FULL SCHOLARSHIP!

~Missy & Clifford

PS: We’d love to see you there. Give the gift of positive change and share this scholarship with your friends. Feel free to pass this SPECIAL OFFER on to those people in your life you know are just READY to make change!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Connection To Each Other

A friend posted this on her blog, Reason Enough, and I agree with her that it helps to feel connected. So, here we go:

Sitting... on my futon in my new 'sitting room' up in the woods.

Smelling... the sweet smell of Copal incense from Mexico (oh wait, now a cat used the litter box just as I was typing this...eeewwww!)

Listening... to my housemate and his girlfriend watching the fabulous movie "Into the Wild" and the thumping of my kitties' feet as they dash back and forth happily in their new home.

Drinking... Iced tea (that I refilled after having just knocked it off the arm of the futon - oops!)

Reading... the Mists of Avalon series by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Also Reading... Where the Hell Is Matt? blog and inventory lists for work - ugh

Loving... living up in the hills a little bit, preparing for a new phase of my life

Dreading... financial crunch, the future of the US economy

Eagerly anticipating... What might be just around the corner that is yet to be known, world change, the success of my latest percolating vision on my gifts for this lifetime.

Worrying... that I don't live fully in gratitude and unconditional love; that I am missing chances to make change and help people; if we are going to completely ruin this beautiful place in which we live.

Wishing... to live comfortably and easefully, people could spend more time honoring each others strengths, listening to each other and helping out, for a home that is my own to live in and share with others

Praying... that all being on all planes, in all places and in all times may be relieved from their suffering and know deep deep peace.

Grateful... for every moment and being in my life; for my abundance of love and joy

Sharing... my heart, my smile, my dreams, my compassion, kindness and these thoughts

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Time to Move On

So, it is now the time for me to move on to another home. Still in the Santa Cruz area, but I am moving up up into the mountains a little bit. I am really excited about this change and really nervous at the same time. As you can see in this picture of my new rooftop (the brown y-shaped roof), when you zoom out, my new home is kind of out there and further away from civilization.


View Larger Map


Now, I know the last time I lived away from town, it was challenging and then I grew to love it, so I hope I do this time as well

My new housemate, Scott, is awesome and I am looking forward to all the new doors, including the ones to my two rooms and bathroom, that may open as a result of this new adventure.

See you soon in my new home!!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Getting Our Needs Met

So, someone just gave me this great technique through which you can learn what you might need, even if you didn't realize you needed it.

Go to google (or search engine of choice) and type your Name with the word "needs" after it.

Here is what I learned:

Missy needs another cocktail. (right on!)
Missy needs a home.
Missy needs Thai. (yum)
Even Missy needs a new look. (you think?)
Missy needs you. (awwww, so true...)
Missy needs... a patient, caring home with someone willing to put some time in to training her and building her confidence.
Missy needs a new family.
Missy needs a business partner
Missy needs a new hairdo
(those were some of the highlights)

Melissa, on the other hand ...

Melissa needs to take a break (so true!!)
Melissa needs to board the blob ship that is hovering overhead (ROFL!!!)
Melissa needs lots of guidance
Melissa needs to find a new agent
Melissa needs your prayers
Melissa needs inner peace

And, a favorite and true --

Melissa needs a bed in Mexico!!!

Interesting that this should pass my radar at a time when I have been exploring how to better express my needs and find ways to meet them or get them met by others. This seems to be a constant challenge for someone like me who naturally gives to everyone else's needs.

So, what do you need?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Amazing Psychic Healing

A&E just started running a new hit series called Psychic Kids:Children of the Paranormal last week. Last night's episode, Fear Management, featured a family who are very dear friends of mine from Las Vegas.

I was so excited to see Morgan and Brad along with their parents, Marsha and Craig on the show teaching us all about the amazing Indigo, Crystal and Rainbow children on this planet right now. I was so proud of the example they set about embracing empathic and psychic abilities and how to use those gifts to affect change and healing in the world. They offered such great confidence and support to the other family on the show and helped let other psychics and empaths know that they are not alone in this world.

Marsha has a wonderful organization, Indigrow, which supports families with psychic kids by teaching parents how to deal with the challenges these kids face in today's society as well as teaches the kids how to work with and live with the gifts they have. I love her dream to create more educational experiences that support and develop these kid's talents rather than quaff them.

The following is a conversation between Marsha Calder and Sylvia Brallier, of the Tantric Shamanism Institute. This conversation is so enlightening and interesting that it is split up into a few different videos below so as to include everything:









Morgan, who is 10, has a little extra video on A&E about the energy healing she does and her work with crystals and stones. I have seen her do energetic healing work first hand and she blows me away everytime. I can't wait to see how many ways she manifests her dreams of healing the world with her gifts! Click HERE for her video

Interested in more information about energetic and psychic healing?
Are you empathic, psychic or sensitive to the emotions and energies around you?
Would you like to learn how to develop your psychic abilities?
Are you seeking greater peace, clarity and balance in your life?

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take a look at the Anamcara Life Empowerment Program to learn more! This unique mentored correspondence course will assist you to step into your highest potential. Awaken self awareness and bring about positive change with a large variety of courses or the full Life Empowerment Program! Anamcara means "soul friend" in Gaelic. A soul friend accepts you as you are. This program offers both guidance and support to be a good soul friend to yourself.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Reborn

I am just now starting to land on this earth again after having spent a few days with one of my teachers, Mata Amritanandamayi (Ammachi or Amma for short). For those that don't know much about her, you can visit her website to learn about who she is and what she teaches. She is my inspirational example of complete and total Unconditional Loving of all people and a model of selfless service.

I have gone to her public Darshans before, where she hugs and loves anyone and everyone who come to her. I have received mantra from her, which I work with almost daily, and have been visiting her on her US tours since 2003. This was my first time on retreat with Amma at her US Ashram in San Ramon, CA.

I don't really know how to detail what my experience was all weekend. I hugged her (or she hugged me, however that works!), 4 blissful times. I also had the opportunity to be seated on the aisle when she entered the hall and got to brush her hand as she went by. I can't believe how a little split-second finger touch could leave my hand smelling strongly like roses for a long time afterwards!

All of her talks were infused with wisdom, stories and great humor. I really enjoyed the interplay between Amma and the Swami who was translating her talks. Many people brought questions to her, some of which were asked and answered publicly. She reminded us to do good, help each other out, take care of ourselves and one another and perhaps together we can all get through the troubling times ahead.

I was blessed with many opportunities to perform Seva, or service including the great honor of helping to distribute the blessed holy water at Devi Bhava (click here for a video about Devi Bhava). I also washed dishes, which has become a sacred service to me, and helped to manage the number signs for the darshan line at Devi Bhava.

Besides many wonderful meditations, enjoying Amma's presence and example, resting under the willows by the pond, laughing at jokes, meeting old and new friends and being fed dinner by Amma's own hands, the most important moment on this visit was when Amma blessed me by naming me a spiritual sanskrit name. I feel so honored that she 'saw' me and named me for what she sees inside of me. She blessed me with the name Jyotirmayi (Jyoti for short). Ask me and I will tell you more!

So, thank you, thank you Amma. In my devotion to you and what you bring to this world and this time......here is a video of the arati to Amma, Mata Amritanandamayi:



Namah Shivaya

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Some Addictions Are Good For You

Usually when we hear the word 'Addiction', we think of things bad for you: drugs, alcohol, sex, television.....chewing nails (ahem!). I think I might have found something good for me, and even fun!

While in Mexico this year on our annual retreat (of which I will blog more at a later date), Billie handed me his set of spinning Poi to play with on the beach one day. For those of you who don't know what poi spinning is, if you have ever seen people spin little balls of fire at the end of a chain around their bodies, this would be what I am talking about.

Around the circle, I have seen people spin fire poi, fire staff, fire fans, flag poi, etc for quite some time. The Poi in particular always seemed like something that I would totally LOVE, and I do! Once in my hands, spinning poi was like a fish to water for me. I now have my own set of LED poi and practice at least an hour if not more a day!

So, yes, this addiction takes some of my precious time away from doing things I should be doing (like working), however it is getting me off the couch, on my feet, moving my body and working out my upper body every day. What could be better?! (Well, okay, don't answer that :) )

Below is a video from YouTube of someone spinning LED poi like the ones I got. I can only hope I spin this well some day. Judging by the black and blue spots on my body...I'll need more time, but a girl can dream!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Make Your Dreams Come True

Enjoy this moving video:

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Masks We Wear

Masks are things I put on the outside
To show other people,
Or maybe to show to myself when I look in the mirror.

Heh, mirrors are interesting, too aren't they?
For another time, though.

Sometimes I become the mask.
Or, does the mask become me?

What if,
Each mask was already an inherent part of myself
that I choose to let out now and again?

All the faces are one.
The One has many face-ts.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Inspiring Poetry

In the end, only kindness matters, in the end

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
But it didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters

I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken

We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes

~Jewel, "Hands"

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Living A Life of Purpose

I recently have caught on to the iPod craze and consequently, via iTunes, I started downloading podcasts. One particular set of video and audio podcasts that were reccommended to me were the TED Talks. These talks are actually truly fascinating and inspiring. I stumbled on the below video by Pastor Rick Warren.

I had no idea what I was about to listen to, but it moved me deeply.

What have you been given? How are you going to use those gifts to change the world?



In case you can't view this video, CLICK HERE.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

On The Road - Part 4: Taiwan Longshan Temple

The last day in Taiwan, our flights left quite late in the day. ‘The girls’ (Rae, Nitta, & Sandy) took Jordan and I on a little morning adventure in Taipei before our flight.

First, we went to the Longshan temple. As you can see this is quite a beautiful temple in the city and besides being well known in and of itself, it is also known as the temple near to the snake alley night market I mentioned in one of my earlier posts.

I am so glad that the girls went with us to Longshan because they knew all of the rituals and traditions for visiting the temple. The temple really wakes up and feeds all of the senses. For starters, in the entrance courtyard, there was a spectacular koi pond with waterfalls. This beautiful view created a sense of peacefulness when you walk in as well as forming a sonic container from the business and noise of the street right on the other side of the gateway. I truly love water gardens and Koi ponds! There were quite some magnificent and large koi, just relaxing under the rushing of the waterfalls above.

Past the courtyard, we entered into the next layer of the temple to be assaulted with the thick smoke and smell of burning incense offerings. All around the temple were offering bowls with sticks upon sticks upon sticks of the burning incense. In the center of the temple, was a shrine with the main Buddha statue surrounded by handful of smaller shrines on the perimeter. The girls had us each get a handful of large incense sticks that we would then use for our offerings at each shrine. There apparently was an order in which to make our offerings. I never quite found out or knew how the girls knew which way to go but we followed their knowing lead.

Different shrines were dedicated to different purposes and the girls instructed us as to what kinds of wishes and prayers to offer at each location. Once we made our wishes we were to leave a stick of incense at the burner in front of that shrine. One Buddha we were told is where all the mothers and students go to ask for passing marks before big exams and tests. Another one was to ask for abundance of children and fertility (we passed that one quickly, simply offering our incense with no wishes!) One of the last ones was for asking for the partner you wish to marry. I was instructed to whisper my name, birthday, and a very detailed description of what I wanted. In that case, of course, should my wish come true, I was told I would have to come back and thank the goddess. We’ll see what happens…..!

Each shrine was so intricately detailed with gold, carvings, paintings, offerings and lights. There was so much for the eyes to take in, I felt quite overwhelmed with it all. The smell of the incense ever present and the sounds of people whispering prayers and clacking ‘question blocks’ (for lack of a better term). These blocks were two little wooden pieces that you us to ask a specific question to the Buddha. Basically you pose your question, and toss the blocks. Depending on how they land, the answer is ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘undecided’. Along one wall were fortune tellers offering to read your numbers or your palms for a small fee.

Besides the massive input to the senses, I found my heart very moved as I offered my prayers. I spent some time considering the question of what exactly I wish to pray for and the answer always came back the same:

Om Lokaha Somastaha Sukhinu Bhavantu
Om Lokaha Somastaha Sukhinu Bhavantu
Om Lokaha Somastaha Sukhinu Bhavantu
May all beings in all times and all places be free from suffering and know deep deep peace.

I recall feeling tears in my eyes at one point as I felt the depth of that prayer in my heart. Why should I ask the universe for just me? What I want of life, don’t we all want?

It was hard to walk away from the temple. I felt like I could have sat there all day praying and wishing…..but alas, we moved on!

Next the girls took us for a quick bite of lunch. Here we are enjoying our meal, which was the Wa Guei I mentioned in one of my earlier posts about food. Say hi to the camera!!

After a quick lunch, we went into one of the markets, this one being a food market. Talk about a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT attach of the senses!! There were so many smells, fish and meats and fruits, and people, fried foods, grilled foods, etc. The sites were also something to behold. Any part of a fish or pig or foul that you could imagine can be found in the markets like this. As we walked down the narrow alleyway, there would be giant fish and pig heads watching us. Full pork legs with the hoof and all laid out on the butcher counters. Of course, like visiting Chinatown in any major city, there were many many ducks and chickens hanging in the shop windows. One shop even provided some helpful education as to the various types of chicken one might find around the world!

Finally, to end this adventure and head back to the hotel and finally to the airport, we took a brief walk to the subway. Here, like NYC and probably many cities, there was the excitement generated by spectators watching the men play games on the benches near the station. I climbed up on a bench to get a view.

And now, we take our subway ride back to the hotel. Rae, don’t lose your subway token being silly!

All in all, our trip to Taiwan was a good example of the old saying; Work Hard, Play Hard. I really treasure the opportunity to experience different parts of the world. For the full selection of photos I took on this trip, go to my Photobucket Album.

Stay tuned for future “On The Road” blog installments…..next stop…Hainan, China!