Monday, December 20, 2010

I have been in a deeper contemplative mood the last week or two, amongst the chaos of INSANE hours for work before the holidays.

And one thing we've been talking about a lot around the team I work with is that 2011 really feels like its going to be a phenomenal and powerful year. My way of thinking about it, I feel like I stumbled into 2010 and hit the road running without pause to vision and be intent-full. I feel like I am heading into 2011 focused, energize, excited and ready to create a new paradigm for myself and life around me.

How do you feel heading into the new year?

In addition, tonight is the Solstice; the longest night of the year. Today is the day to honor the darkness, honor the inward journey knowing that this is the way through. Now, the light will slowly increase and its time to vision forward to what light will manifest in our lives. I feel like this year's solstice has extra potency with there being a Lunar Eclipse tonight. The moon's wisdom is that of the cycles, of women's mysteries, of the phases of life from ebb to flow to ebb again. It leads me, this night, to consider how my own patterns and phases my be blinding me from my own self, my own spirit. It leads me to meditate on how, in the darkness of my soul or spirit, my shadow self makes it seem as if the light can't possibly be there. And then, from there, I know it is all a reflection of the same spirit. The light was never gone. It's all an illusion!

So, rather than contemplate what "New Year's Resolution" might be the one for this year. I inquire of you....let's share....what reflections you might have in this season. What vision do you want to create for 2011. How do you want to move through the illusion of your shadows, of the darkness, into greater and brighter light?

I know for myself...the light I am seeking is that of Balance. How can I balance heart and mind. How can I balance taking care of myself and having clear boundaries about my needs and desires while still upholding my commitments and fulfilling my sense of responsibility. I am also feeling an ending to many phases of my life, unsure what exactly will fill the new spaces created by letting go. Although I feel deep inner reflection and quietness at this time, I feel exhuberant about new ideas, new possibilities, etc. I can't wait to move my body, to commit to dancing regularly again. I can't wait to balance work and personal and even within my work, to find equilibrium between my brain, my heart and my spirit. I'm looking forward and visioning letting my priestess, my shaman, my healer, my teacher out again to connect and carry forth in my leadership. I am visioning peace, ease, grace, and joy.

Blessed Solstice, my friends,

Friday, August 20, 2010


So, wow, its been crazy lately.

Stress levels have been insanely high. I've had every single one of my personal little "gremlins" in my head telling me I'm not good enough, etc, screaming at me and yet, through all that, there has been sweetness, fun and connection.

I am just now landing from this year's Phoenix Fire (the big fire circle event I help organize every year). This year was a tough one. Big issues that challenge the moral compass amongst the community and I, trying to hold it all within the container of love and compassion. It's hard to listen to everyone, empathize with all perspectives and then have to make decisions that are guaranteed to upset some person or 5. oy vey!

On the other hand, the circles were magical, the staff stepped up to the plate and made things run smoothly. We said goodbye, after 10 years, to the special magical land we've called home each summer for Fire Circles. It was emotional, it was hard and I look forward to the future with enthusiasm and hopes of something different, new, fresh and magical in its own way.

I came home to getting sick. I wore my body completely out. I came home to "real life" and work. I love my job AND I've totally sucked at it lately. Not sure what to do about it and getting my act together. Self discipline is not a strong point for me. I'm searching my soul and my life for the tools and access to what can move me forward and through this wall I see before me. I know, I must reconnect to spirit and inspiration. I've lost that along the way.

It is time to seek the guidance of the Grandmothers. It is time to deepen into my connection with spirit and allow that to inspire and guide me. It is time, really, to start doing something different from what I have been doing. I'm tired, worn out and feel like I put a great deal of effort out into the world with minimal result. I feel like I am working backwards instead of forwards and that is INCREDIBLY frustrating. I feel like its all just not good enough...for me or for those around me.

Looking towards this fall, it will be time to gather the harvest. Gather my resources and prepare for the internal work of the winter. In that, I hope, I find support. Maybe even some answers.

The warmth of the fire glows inside of me. It may feel like the slightest bit of embers right now, but it is still there. It's time to heat it up, fire it up, tend the fire and make space for it to grow, to burn, to light me up from the inside out. I feel that fire, that last night and the heat of the early morning deep in my heart. Now, it's time to let it shine out.

Thursday, February 4, 2010


"I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me?
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of hte joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

lately I've been thinking, maybe you're not ready for me
maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for, 'cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow, I'll same the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance, I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music, a man who loves art
Respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice, my eyes, my soul, my mind
Tell me what is enough to prove I am ready for love
I am ready."

Lyrics from "Ready for Love" by India Arie

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Phoenix Fire 2009 Golden Moments

On August 14th, 140 of us gathered in the magical redwoods to dance, sing, play and drum around the fire all night for 3 nights in a row! This gathering was exactly that, a gathering, a coming together of people from all different backgrounds to create a 'village' and place that supports one another in working together to co-exist, problem solve, create, heal, transform and connect. The following is a quick video I made talking about some of my 'golden moments' from the past week. There are many more special experiences than can be shared in one video, but this certainly highlights a few. Enjoy!

Yes, my hair looks different! My sweet friends Tabitha and Padme helped me put yarn braids in my hair. I LOVE them!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

An Inspiring Story of Friendship

A friend of mine just sent me the link to this video. Truly, if they can be friends, why can't the rest of us?

Watch CBS Videos Online

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year Musings

I am going through my journals from 2004 mapping my Europe trip for a little project and out fell this card that I picked up in Tours, France. It seems appropriate to remember these things at the New Year. (it was in french and following is an english translation) There is something poetic about the french.

La vie...
La vie est une chance, saisis-la.
La vie est beaute, admire-la.
La vie est beatitude, savoure-la.
La vie est un reve, fais-en une realite.
La vie est un defi, fais-lui face.
La vie est un devoir, accomplis-le.
La vie est un jeu, joue-le.
La vie est precieuse, prends-en soin.
La vie est une richesse, conserve-la.
La vie est amour, jouis-en.
La vie est un mystere, perce-le.
La vie est promesse, remplis-la.
La vie est tristesse, surmonte-la.
La vie est un hymne, chante-le.
La vie est une aventure, ose-la.
La vie est un combat, accepte-le.
La vie est un bonheur, merite-le.
La vie est la vie, defends-la.
~Mere Teresa

Life is an opportunity, grab it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is blissful, savor it.
Life is a dream, make it a reality.
Life is a challenge, meet it head-on.
Life is an obligation, fulfill it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is precious, take care of it.
Life is rich, treasure it.
Life is love, enjoy it.
Life is a mystery, solve it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sadness, overcome it.
Life is a hymn, sing it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is happiness, deserve it.
Life is life, Live it.
~Mother Theresa

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008